Just one of many stories from my life in Parkland! REALLY funny. But really NOT funny.
I was consulted to see this morbidly obese patient prior to neurosurgery. She was functional, but needed to lose about 100 lbs. Based on behavioral change psychology, she presented in the ACTION stage, READY to take the next step, WANTING a new lifestyle, and ASKING me for help. PERFECT! THIS is why I went to PT school! So what did I do? Hours and hours of research, provided tools, community resources, personal and family education, asked her to write down HER goals and HOW she would achieve them, copied and highlighted motivational resources, and plus a TON of additional work for her. Our final session was entirely discussion of what SHE wanted, and I gave her the tools and motivation to be successful.
At 8:15 the NEXT morning, I went to see my first patient of the day and saw her lying in the ICU bed. Her head was wrapped in post-surgical bandages, she was attached to a plethora of monitors, and she was eating an entire pint of Blue Bell Rocky Road! Honestly, it happened! It's sort of funny now, but I was so stunned at the time that I almost dropped my clipboard. SHE wanted to change, but didn't even stay on the wagon 24 hours. My look, inherited from my Mother, apparently said it all. She lowered her spoon and started explaining. I smiled, conversed politely, then walked away.
My composed emotions transitioned from aggravation, to disappointment, to humor, then purely heartache. She helped me realize just how internally disconnected we are. More often than we acknowledge, there is a severance in the link between our head and our heart. We KNOW what is best, but that’s not what we actually want. Relationships are such a prime example of this catch-22. Why do we ladies fall (heart) for the "bad boys" KNOWING (head) that we will get hurt? Why do guys love (heart) dysfunctional girls that past has proven will burn you (head)?
It’s often hard to find that balance when the head and the heart don’t line up. John Mayer talks about the internal struggle in “Half of my Heart” and Paul describes it in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I honestly believe this internal struggle adds spice to life, opportunities to learn, and challenges to overcome. The components are separate entities, but connected make us who we are. That’s the reason for Matthew 22:37, “Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'” We can’t pursue God half-way. We have to LOVE the Lord, YEARN for the Lord, and KNOW the Lord. Though we struggle, doubt, question, and search, God molds us as we grow. But after the internal struggle plays out, actions dictate the result. We either eat the ice cream or we don’t.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Wit, Wonder, & Wisdom of the Week
"Congratulations on completing the academic portion of this program. I will see you again at GRADUATION." -Dr. Querry
"Definitely friends forever. Maybe we should get bracelets and make it official?" -Tara
"Suppose one has a broken jaw, because that one was kicked in the face..." -Phillip
"I will crush your bones if we don't hang soon." -Daniel
"The kids respect you more when you admit you don't know." -the teachers in my CG
"Yeah, authenticity isn't quite as valued in medicine. Saying, 'Good question, let's google it' usually doesn't go over well." -me
"Life would be so much easier as a dog." -Tara
"It's okay that your life isn't exactly what you pictured. Nobody's is. And it's okay to not be 100% satisfied with that. Take time to mourn those unmet expectations. Then close the book. Move on with God's plan for your life, trusting that HIS plan is much better than YOUR plan." -Lori
Everbody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them -John Ortberg
"EVERYBODY comes with a mat." pg 47
Roof Crashers: describing the men carrying the paralytic to see Jesus
"Then one guy gets an idea, probably the youngest guy, the tattooed and pierced guy because he's an outside-of-the-box thinker." pg 49
"The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off." pg 80
"Non-forgiveness costs YOUR heart...you start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you." pg 165
"People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality." pg 181
"We complicate our faith and lives in many ways, but at the core, our purpose is simple: we are called to love." pg 214
"Jesus is ruler over Harvard and Oxford and TEXAS A&M." pg 231
Ruthless Trust -Brennan Manning
"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future." pg 12
"Of what avail is our life of prayer, our study of Scripture, theology, and spirituality, if we do not trust the insights that we have received?" pg 20
"The more we let go of our concepts and images which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability." pg 56
"The kabod Yahweh, the absolute glory of God, is revealed in Jesus as absolute love, and we can only be brushed by it. Nevertheless, we are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us." pg 103
"Our disappointments arise from presuming to know the outcome of a particular endeavor." pg 139
"It is through immersion in the ordinary --the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day-- that life/Life is encountered and lived." pg 156
"How glorious the splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved!" pg 148
"Definitely friends forever. Maybe we should get bracelets and make it official?" -Tara
"Suppose one has a broken jaw, because that one was kicked in the face..." -Phillip
"I will crush your bones if we don't hang soon." -Daniel
"The kids respect you more when you admit you don't know." -the teachers in my CG
"Yeah, authenticity isn't quite as valued in medicine. Saying, 'Good question, let's google it' usually doesn't go over well." -me
"Life would be so much easier as a dog." -Tara
"It's okay that your life isn't exactly what you pictured. Nobody's is. And it's okay to not be 100% satisfied with that. Take time to mourn those unmet expectations. Then close the book. Move on with God's plan for your life, trusting that HIS plan is much better than YOUR plan." -Lori
Everbody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them -John Ortberg
"EVERYBODY comes with a mat." pg 47
Roof Crashers: describing the men carrying the paralytic to see Jesus
"Then one guy gets an idea, probably the youngest guy, the tattooed and pierced guy because he's an outside-of-the-box thinker." pg 49
"The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off." pg 80
"Non-forgiveness costs YOUR heart...you start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you." pg 165
"People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality." pg 181
"We complicate our faith and lives in many ways, but at the core, our purpose is simple: we are called to love." pg 214
"Jesus is ruler over Harvard and Oxford and TEXAS A&M." pg 231
Ruthless Trust -Brennan Manning
"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future." pg 12
"Of what avail is our life of prayer, our study of Scripture, theology, and spirituality, if we do not trust the insights that we have received?" pg 20
"The more we let go of our concepts and images which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability." pg 56
"The kabod Yahweh, the absolute glory of God, is revealed in Jesus as absolute love, and we can only be brushed by it. Nevertheless, we are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us." pg 103
"Our disappointments arise from presuming to know the outcome of a particular endeavor." pg 139
"It is through immersion in the ordinary --the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day-- that life/Life is encountered and lived." pg 156
"How glorious the splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved!" pg 148
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The James Experiement: Day 5- James 5
Finally the Finale!
Major Themes: Worldly gains are irrelevant, be patient, be prayerful
Action: Being patient, thinking about what is really important
Lessons Learned: VERY few people knew about the week as it was occuring. My friends who did were messing with me saying, “Traci, gosh traffic is really slow.” And me responding with “Isn’t this such a great opportunity for quality time? I’m so glad that traffic is going 4 mph!” Hilarious.
But the original intent of Day 5 was to tie up the James Experiment through describing the relationship between patience, faith, and trust in the midst of our puzzling, unknown futures. Unsatisfactorily, it resulted in vague Christian clichés like “Cling to the Cross” and “Give it to God.” Maybe it’s just me, but what do those actually mean? I’ve read James 5 about 20 times in an attempt to connect it all, but honestly, “In your ocean I’m ankle deep.” –NeedToBreathe.
The last several weeks have instead taken me extremely far from James 5. Lately, the study of God’s Word has nullified my ability to simply correlate the over exaggerated Biblical lesson-of-the-day with the 2010 application, and brought forward the reality that God cannot be reduced to a 1 page blog, a 24 year old’s thoughts, or a ridiculous, 5 day investigation. I am moving toward the place where all that matters is “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” –Revelation 4:8.
When observant, almost everything from the brightness of a starry night in Aspen to the hugs of 1st graders (elementary sub=opportunity to practice patience) brings out the truth in Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” This reminds me of just how BIG God is, and how minute I am. It’s quite humorous what I think I have figured out, when in actuality my perception of life is so narrow compared to someone just 10 years older. What makes me think I can even attempt to understand the Lord? “He (Christ) is the Beyond-in-our-midst, and though in our midst, still beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. Jesus Christ will always be a scandal to the murky, immodest theory-making of the intelligentsia, because he cannot be comprehended by the rational, scientific, and finite mind.” –Ruthless Trust, pg 55. My mind clearly is scientific, and I must comprehend everything. Concepts need to make reasonable sense, be explainable, and of course answer my favorite questions of why & how. However, the philosophical statement of “the Bible is beyond logic” challenged my haughty expectations. Zophar (Job’s friend giving horrible advice) actually makes a legitimate point in saying “Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” –Job 11:7. No, we can’t. And we should value that.
In the book “Crazy Love,” Francis Chan addresses the magnitude of God. I loaned out the book, so I am unable to quote it exactly, but my thoughts mixed with Chan’s insight produce something like this: How could we worship, surrender to, and be completely in awe of a comprehendible, tangible God? I couldn’t. Knowing that I probably have a paradigm shift weekly, how great could a God be that is fully understandable at any lifestage? Rather than worshiping an explainable God that we incongruously personify and project our concepts of human characteristics on, we instead rest in the God of the Scripture, the God of Abraham, of David, of Paul, of Peter. I CAN be completely enamored with a God who is mysterious, captivating, and unfathomable; a God of unending anonymity yet unexplainably near. “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.” –Deuteronomy 10:17. He is a God “full of compassion and mercy.” -James 5:11. And He is a God who has measured the waters in the hallow of his hand, and marked off the heavens with the breadth of his hand. He has held the dust of the earth in a basket, and weighed the mountains on scales… The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. -Isaiah 40:12,28 (paraphrased).
God is a God beyond all understanding, and that quality alone makes Him more than worthy of our praise, adoration, and unending search to know Him.
Major Themes: Worldly gains are irrelevant, be patient, be prayerful
Action: Being patient, thinking about what is really important
Lessons Learned: VERY few people knew about the week as it was occuring. My friends who did were messing with me saying, “Traci, gosh traffic is really slow.” And me responding with “Isn’t this such a great opportunity for quality time? I’m so glad that traffic is going 4 mph!” Hilarious.
But the original intent of Day 5 was to tie up the James Experiment through describing the relationship between patience, faith, and trust in the midst of our puzzling, unknown futures. Unsatisfactorily, it resulted in vague Christian clichés like “Cling to the Cross” and “Give it to God.” Maybe it’s just me, but what do those actually mean? I’ve read James 5 about 20 times in an attempt to connect it all, but honestly, “In your ocean I’m ankle deep.” –NeedToBreathe.
The last several weeks have instead taken me extremely far from James 5. Lately, the study of God’s Word has nullified my ability to simply correlate the over exaggerated Biblical lesson-of-the-day with the 2010 application, and brought forward the reality that God cannot be reduced to a 1 page blog, a 24 year old’s thoughts, or a ridiculous, 5 day investigation. I am moving toward the place where all that matters is “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” –Revelation 4:8.
When observant, almost everything from the brightness of a starry night in Aspen to the hugs of 1st graders (elementary sub=opportunity to practice patience) brings out the truth in Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” This reminds me of just how BIG God is, and how minute I am. It’s quite humorous what I think I have figured out, when in actuality my perception of life is so narrow compared to someone just 10 years older. What makes me think I can even attempt to understand the Lord? “He (Christ) is the Beyond-in-our-midst, and though in our midst, still beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. Jesus Christ will always be a scandal to the murky, immodest theory-making of the intelligentsia, because he cannot be comprehended by the rational, scientific, and finite mind.” –Ruthless Trust, pg 55. My mind clearly is scientific, and I must comprehend everything. Concepts need to make reasonable sense, be explainable, and of course answer my favorite questions of why & how. However, the philosophical statement of “the Bible is beyond logic” challenged my haughty expectations. Zophar (Job’s friend giving horrible advice) actually makes a legitimate point in saying “Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” –Job 11:7. No, we can’t. And we should value that.
In the book “Crazy Love,” Francis Chan addresses the magnitude of God. I loaned out the book, so I am unable to quote it exactly, but my thoughts mixed with Chan’s insight produce something like this: How could we worship, surrender to, and be completely in awe of a comprehendible, tangible God? I couldn’t. Knowing that I probably have a paradigm shift weekly, how great could a God be that is fully understandable at any lifestage? Rather than worshiping an explainable God that we incongruously personify and project our concepts of human characteristics on, we instead rest in the God of the Scripture, the God of Abraham, of David, of Paul, of Peter. I CAN be completely enamored with a God who is mysterious, captivating, and unfathomable; a God of unending anonymity yet unexplainably near. “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.” –Deuteronomy 10:17. He is a God “full of compassion and mercy.” -James 5:11. And He is a God who has measured the waters in the hallow of his hand, and marked off the heavens with the breadth of his hand. He has held the dust of the earth in a basket, and weighed the mountains on scales… The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. -Isaiah 40:12,28 (paraphrased).
God is a God beyond all understanding, and that quality alone makes Him more than worthy of our praise, adoration, and unending search to know Him.
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