"Faith is taking the first step when you don't see the whole staircase." -MLK
Here I am moving across the country alone, again. There is always such a catch-22 to starting over and voluntarily trading the familiar for the unknown. It is both extremely terrifying and unexplainably enticing.
The last few days in Dallas completely exposed my fears, doubts, and selective memory in regard to the adventure. I selectively packed away the challenges, loneliness, and difficult lessons from Aspen, and only chose to remember the rainbow & sunshine moments. That was, of course, until I wondered through my empty Dallas apartment and immediately realized those not-so-perfect experiences would soon reappear in NC. The goodbyes quickly became very tearful.
However, starting over forces self-growth and maturity that sparks a reliance on Christ like never before. Fortunately, the rather unpleasant lessons from Aspen make this time much easier: they taught me who I am.
Yes, that sounds silly. Surely by age 24 I should know “who I am”. I did, in theory. But being away from a constant support system brough forth the reality that I am not a PT, a student, an Aggie, a Porch volunteer, or even a blonde haired blue eyed small town Texas girl. Those things may describe me, but my identity is defined by the one who loves me: Christ.
Being in NC for a few days, I’m beginning to settle in quite nicely. So far, despite missing everyone from home, I love it here. The scenery is breathtaking, the people are Texas-friendly, and the weather has been phenomenal. But perhaps the best part of this new beginning is that I’m not trying so hard. I know who I am and that I can trust in the plan of the one who loves me.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Internally Disconnected
Just one of many stories from my life in Parkland! REALLY funny. But really NOT funny.
I was consulted to see this morbidly obese patient prior to neurosurgery. She was functional, but needed to lose about 100 lbs. Based on behavioral change psychology, she presented in the ACTION stage, READY to take the next step, WANTING a new lifestyle, and ASKING me for help. PERFECT! THIS is why I went to PT school! So what did I do? Hours and hours of research, provided tools, community resources, personal and family education, asked her to write down HER goals and HOW she would achieve them, copied and highlighted motivational resources, and plus a TON of additional work for her. Our final session was entirely discussion of what SHE wanted, and I gave her the tools and motivation to be successful.
At 8:15 the NEXT morning, I went to see my first patient of the day and saw her lying in the ICU bed. Her head was wrapped in post-surgical bandages, she was attached to a plethora of monitors, and she was eating an entire pint of Blue Bell Rocky Road! Honestly, it happened! It's sort of funny now, but I was so stunned at the time that I almost dropped my clipboard. SHE wanted to change, but didn't even stay on the wagon 24 hours. My look, inherited from my Mother, apparently said it all. She lowered her spoon and started explaining. I smiled, conversed politely, then walked away.
My composed emotions transitioned from aggravation, to disappointment, to humor, then purely heartache. She helped me realize just how internally disconnected we are. More often than we acknowledge, there is a severance in the link between our head and our heart. We KNOW what is best, but that’s not what we actually want. Relationships are such a prime example of this catch-22. Why do we ladies fall (heart) for the "bad boys" KNOWING (head) that we will get hurt? Why do guys love (heart) dysfunctional girls that past has proven will burn you (head)?
It’s often hard to find that balance when the head and the heart don’t line up. John Mayer talks about the internal struggle in “Half of my Heart” and Paul describes it in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I honestly believe this internal struggle adds spice to life, opportunities to learn, and challenges to overcome. The components are separate entities, but connected make us who we are. That’s the reason for Matthew 22:37, “Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'” We can’t pursue God half-way. We have to LOVE the Lord, YEARN for the Lord, and KNOW the Lord. Though we struggle, doubt, question, and search, God molds us as we grow. But after the internal struggle plays out, actions dictate the result. We either eat the ice cream or we don’t.
I was consulted to see this morbidly obese patient prior to neurosurgery. She was functional, but needed to lose about 100 lbs. Based on behavioral change psychology, she presented in the ACTION stage, READY to take the next step, WANTING a new lifestyle, and ASKING me for help. PERFECT! THIS is why I went to PT school! So what did I do? Hours and hours of research, provided tools, community resources, personal and family education, asked her to write down HER goals and HOW she would achieve them, copied and highlighted motivational resources, and plus a TON of additional work for her. Our final session was entirely discussion of what SHE wanted, and I gave her the tools and motivation to be successful.
At 8:15 the NEXT morning, I went to see my first patient of the day and saw her lying in the ICU bed. Her head was wrapped in post-surgical bandages, she was attached to a plethora of monitors, and she was eating an entire pint of Blue Bell Rocky Road! Honestly, it happened! It's sort of funny now, but I was so stunned at the time that I almost dropped my clipboard. SHE wanted to change, but didn't even stay on the wagon 24 hours. My look, inherited from my Mother, apparently said it all. She lowered her spoon and started explaining. I smiled, conversed politely, then walked away.
My composed emotions transitioned from aggravation, to disappointment, to humor, then purely heartache. She helped me realize just how internally disconnected we are. More often than we acknowledge, there is a severance in the link between our head and our heart. We KNOW what is best, but that’s not what we actually want. Relationships are such a prime example of this catch-22. Why do we ladies fall (heart) for the "bad boys" KNOWING (head) that we will get hurt? Why do guys love (heart) dysfunctional girls that past has proven will burn you (head)?
It’s often hard to find that balance when the head and the heart don’t line up. John Mayer talks about the internal struggle in “Half of my Heart” and Paul describes it in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I honestly believe this internal struggle adds spice to life, opportunities to learn, and challenges to overcome. The components are separate entities, but connected make us who we are. That’s the reason for Matthew 22:37, “Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'” We can’t pursue God half-way. We have to LOVE the Lord, YEARN for the Lord, and KNOW the Lord. Though we struggle, doubt, question, and search, God molds us as we grow. But after the internal struggle plays out, actions dictate the result. We either eat the ice cream or we don’t.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Wit, Wonder, & Wisdom of the Week
"Congratulations on completing the academic portion of this program. I will see you again at GRADUATION." -Dr. Querry
"Definitely friends forever. Maybe we should get bracelets and make it official?" -Tara
"Suppose one has a broken jaw, because that one was kicked in the face..." -Phillip
"I will crush your bones if we don't hang soon." -Daniel
"The kids respect you more when you admit you don't know." -the teachers in my CG
"Yeah, authenticity isn't quite as valued in medicine. Saying, 'Good question, let's google it' usually doesn't go over well." -me
"Life would be so much easier as a dog." -Tara
"It's okay that your life isn't exactly what you pictured. Nobody's is. And it's okay to not be 100% satisfied with that. Take time to mourn those unmet expectations. Then close the book. Move on with God's plan for your life, trusting that HIS plan is much better than YOUR plan." -Lori
Everbody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them -John Ortberg
"EVERYBODY comes with a mat." pg 47
Roof Crashers: describing the men carrying the paralytic to see Jesus
"Then one guy gets an idea, probably the youngest guy, the tattooed and pierced guy because he's an outside-of-the-box thinker." pg 49
"The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off." pg 80
"Non-forgiveness costs YOUR heart...you start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you." pg 165
"People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality." pg 181
"We complicate our faith and lives in many ways, but at the core, our purpose is simple: we are called to love." pg 214
"Jesus is ruler over Harvard and Oxford and TEXAS A&M." pg 231
Ruthless Trust -Brennan Manning
"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future." pg 12
"Of what avail is our life of prayer, our study of Scripture, theology, and spirituality, if we do not trust the insights that we have received?" pg 20
"The more we let go of our concepts and images which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability." pg 56
"The kabod Yahweh, the absolute glory of God, is revealed in Jesus as absolute love, and we can only be brushed by it. Nevertheless, we are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us." pg 103
"Our disappointments arise from presuming to know the outcome of a particular endeavor." pg 139
"It is through immersion in the ordinary --the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day-- that life/Life is encountered and lived." pg 156
"How glorious the splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved!" pg 148
"Definitely friends forever. Maybe we should get bracelets and make it official?" -Tara
"Suppose one has a broken jaw, because that one was kicked in the face..." -Phillip
"I will crush your bones if we don't hang soon." -Daniel
"The kids respect you more when you admit you don't know." -the teachers in my CG
"Yeah, authenticity isn't quite as valued in medicine. Saying, 'Good question, let's google it' usually doesn't go over well." -me
"Life would be so much easier as a dog." -Tara
"It's okay that your life isn't exactly what you pictured. Nobody's is. And it's okay to not be 100% satisfied with that. Take time to mourn those unmet expectations. Then close the book. Move on with God's plan for your life, trusting that HIS plan is much better than YOUR plan." -Lori
Everbody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them -John Ortberg
"EVERYBODY comes with a mat." pg 47
Roof Crashers: describing the men carrying the paralytic to see Jesus
"Then one guy gets an idea, probably the youngest guy, the tattooed and pierced guy because he's an outside-of-the-box thinker." pg 49
"The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off." pg 80
"Non-forgiveness costs YOUR heart...you start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you." pg 165
"People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality." pg 181
"We complicate our faith and lives in many ways, but at the core, our purpose is simple: we are called to love." pg 214
"Jesus is ruler over Harvard and Oxford and TEXAS A&M." pg 231
Ruthless Trust -Brennan Manning
"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future." pg 12
"Of what avail is our life of prayer, our study of Scripture, theology, and spirituality, if we do not trust the insights that we have received?" pg 20
"The more we let go of our concepts and images which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability." pg 56
"The kabod Yahweh, the absolute glory of God, is revealed in Jesus as absolute love, and we can only be brushed by it. Nevertheless, we are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us." pg 103
"Our disappointments arise from presuming to know the outcome of a particular endeavor." pg 139
"It is through immersion in the ordinary --the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day-- that life/Life is encountered and lived." pg 156
"How glorious the splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved!" pg 148
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The James Experiement: Day 5- James 5
Finally the Finale!
Major Themes: Worldly gains are irrelevant, be patient, be prayerful
Action: Being patient, thinking about what is really important
Lessons Learned: VERY few people knew about the week as it was occuring. My friends who did were messing with me saying, “Traci, gosh traffic is really slow.” And me responding with “Isn’t this such a great opportunity for quality time? I’m so glad that traffic is going 4 mph!” Hilarious.
But the original intent of Day 5 was to tie up the James Experiment through describing the relationship between patience, faith, and trust in the midst of our puzzling, unknown futures. Unsatisfactorily, it resulted in vague Christian clichés like “Cling to the Cross” and “Give it to God.” Maybe it’s just me, but what do those actually mean? I’ve read James 5 about 20 times in an attempt to connect it all, but honestly, “In your ocean I’m ankle deep.” –NeedToBreathe.
The last several weeks have instead taken me extremely far from James 5. Lately, the study of God’s Word has nullified my ability to simply correlate the over exaggerated Biblical lesson-of-the-day with the 2010 application, and brought forward the reality that God cannot be reduced to a 1 page blog, a 24 year old’s thoughts, or a ridiculous, 5 day investigation. I am moving toward the place where all that matters is “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” –Revelation 4:8.
When observant, almost everything from the brightness of a starry night in Aspen to the hugs of 1st graders (elementary sub=opportunity to practice patience) brings out the truth in Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” This reminds me of just how BIG God is, and how minute I am. It’s quite humorous what I think I have figured out, when in actuality my perception of life is so narrow compared to someone just 10 years older. What makes me think I can even attempt to understand the Lord? “He (Christ) is the Beyond-in-our-midst, and though in our midst, still beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. Jesus Christ will always be a scandal to the murky, immodest theory-making of the intelligentsia, because he cannot be comprehended by the rational, scientific, and finite mind.” –Ruthless Trust, pg 55. My mind clearly is scientific, and I must comprehend everything. Concepts need to make reasonable sense, be explainable, and of course answer my favorite questions of why & how. However, the philosophical statement of “the Bible is beyond logic” challenged my haughty expectations. Zophar (Job’s friend giving horrible advice) actually makes a legitimate point in saying “Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” –Job 11:7. No, we can’t. And we should value that.
In the book “Crazy Love,” Francis Chan addresses the magnitude of God. I loaned out the book, so I am unable to quote it exactly, but my thoughts mixed with Chan’s insight produce something like this: How could we worship, surrender to, and be completely in awe of a comprehendible, tangible God? I couldn’t. Knowing that I probably have a paradigm shift weekly, how great could a God be that is fully understandable at any lifestage? Rather than worshiping an explainable God that we incongruously personify and project our concepts of human characteristics on, we instead rest in the God of the Scripture, the God of Abraham, of David, of Paul, of Peter. I CAN be completely enamored with a God who is mysterious, captivating, and unfathomable; a God of unending anonymity yet unexplainably near. “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.” –Deuteronomy 10:17. He is a God “full of compassion and mercy.” -James 5:11. And He is a God who has measured the waters in the hallow of his hand, and marked off the heavens with the breadth of his hand. He has held the dust of the earth in a basket, and weighed the mountains on scales… The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. -Isaiah 40:12,28 (paraphrased).
God is a God beyond all understanding, and that quality alone makes Him more than worthy of our praise, adoration, and unending search to know Him.
Major Themes: Worldly gains are irrelevant, be patient, be prayerful
Action: Being patient, thinking about what is really important
Lessons Learned: VERY few people knew about the week as it was occuring. My friends who did were messing with me saying, “Traci, gosh traffic is really slow.” And me responding with “Isn’t this such a great opportunity for quality time? I’m so glad that traffic is going 4 mph!” Hilarious.
But the original intent of Day 5 was to tie up the James Experiment through describing the relationship between patience, faith, and trust in the midst of our puzzling, unknown futures. Unsatisfactorily, it resulted in vague Christian clichés like “Cling to the Cross” and “Give it to God.” Maybe it’s just me, but what do those actually mean? I’ve read James 5 about 20 times in an attempt to connect it all, but honestly, “In your ocean I’m ankle deep.” –NeedToBreathe.
The last several weeks have instead taken me extremely far from James 5. Lately, the study of God’s Word has nullified my ability to simply correlate the over exaggerated Biblical lesson-of-the-day with the 2010 application, and brought forward the reality that God cannot be reduced to a 1 page blog, a 24 year old’s thoughts, or a ridiculous, 5 day investigation. I am moving toward the place where all that matters is “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” –Revelation 4:8.
When observant, almost everything from the brightness of a starry night in Aspen to the hugs of 1st graders (elementary sub=opportunity to practice patience) brings out the truth in Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” This reminds me of just how BIG God is, and how minute I am. It’s quite humorous what I think I have figured out, when in actuality my perception of life is so narrow compared to someone just 10 years older. What makes me think I can even attempt to understand the Lord? “He (Christ) is the Beyond-in-our-midst, and though in our midst, still beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. Jesus Christ will always be a scandal to the murky, immodest theory-making of the intelligentsia, because he cannot be comprehended by the rational, scientific, and finite mind.” –Ruthless Trust, pg 55. My mind clearly is scientific, and I must comprehend everything. Concepts need to make reasonable sense, be explainable, and of course answer my favorite questions of why & how. However, the philosophical statement of “the Bible is beyond logic” challenged my haughty expectations. Zophar (Job’s friend giving horrible advice) actually makes a legitimate point in saying “Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” –Job 11:7. No, we can’t. And we should value that.
In the book “Crazy Love,” Francis Chan addresses the magnitude of God. I loaned out the book, so I am unable to quote it exactly, but my thoughts mixed with Chan’s insight produce something like this: How could we worship, surrender to, and be completely in awe of a comprehendible, tangible God? I couldn’t. Knowing that I probably have a paradigm shift weekly, how great could a God be that is fully understandable at any lifestage? Rather than worshiping an explainable God that we incongruously personify and project our concepts of human characteristics on, we instead rest in the God of the Scripture, the God of Abraham, of David, of Paul, of Peter. I CAN be completely enamored with a God who is mysterious, captivating, and unfathomable; a God of unending anonymity yet unexplainably near. “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.” –Deuteronomy 10:17. He is a God “full of compassion and mercy.” -James 5:11. And He is a God who has measured the waters in the hallow of his hand, and marked off the heavens with the breadth of his hand. He has held the dust of the earth in a basket, and weighed the mountains on scales… The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. -Isaiah 40:12,28 (paraphrased).
God is a God beyond all understanding, and that quality alone makes Him more than worthy of our praise, adoration, and unending search to know Him.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Day 4- Take 2
The James 4 post basically focused on what WE DO (or not do). In reality, WE TRUST GOD. That's it. TRUST GOD. Like David, who is described as 'a man after God's own heart.' TRUST GOD.
Instead of reading my post, listen to this. It's better. Seriously. YOU WILL BE GLAD. Or if you are too-cool-for-school, then don't, whatever. But you will be missing out on a paradigm shift. (note-if it's not yet posted, it will be soon):
itunes/podcasts/watermarkradio-theporchchannel/livingtheadventure(4/27/10)
PS- The finale (Day 5) will come eventually. When I have time to write it!
Instead of reading my post, listen to this. It's better. Seriously. YOU WILL BE GLAD. Or if you are too-cool-for-school, then don't, whatever. But you will be missing out on a paradigm shift. (note-if it's not yet posted, it will be soon):
itunes/podcasts/watermarkradio-theporchchannel/livingtheadventure(4/27/10)
PS- The finale (Day 5) will come eventually. When I have time to write it!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The James Experiement: Day 4- James 4
Major Themes: Submitting to God; Not boasting in the future
Action: Nothing. See where God takes the day.
“Would I believe you when you would say,
Your hand will guide my every way?...
And I will walk by faith,
Even when I cannot see.
For because this broken road
Prepares your will for me.”
-Walk By Faith, Jeremy Camp
Lessons learned: In trying to develop the action for day 4, a very wise friend asked, “If YOU plan it, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of submitting to God?” So true. Therefore, I woke up without a plan, and spent the morning praying about James 4 then Luke 22:42 “Not my will but Thy will be done” and asking God to show me what that should look like for the day.
Okay, so probably not ideal for EVERY day, but for ONE day = spectacular. Basically, I spent the entire day in the Word, loving and serving other people, easily changing my non-existent-plans to fit someone else’s, and continually praying. I didn’t check off a single item on my extensive to-do list, try to figure out the fall in NC, research residency programs for next year, freak-out about my 25th birthday 10 months away, or even plan the weekend. Although atypical for me, it really happened. And it was phenomenal. God used this to show me how much of the present I waste living in the future, when often He has something better in store. “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” –Proverbs 19:21
In regard to not boasting about tomorrow (James 4:13-17), the concept of TODAY can be difficult. I am a planner, especially a future planner. Confident in MY abilities (really?), I like to orchestrate the way I want things to turn out. James says otherwise. “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” –James 4:14.
The clarity of this section made me curious as to why it is so. I love to plan the future, what’s wrong with that? Our entire lives we’ve been told to prepare for later. Elementary gymnastics makes a better cheerleader, high school choices dictate college opportunities, on-and-on. So, why this lesson, James? Perhaps God is simply trying to protect us by keeping us from overplanning. How? I think sometimes we can be so focused on “our plan” that we completely miss the phenomenal opportunities that God is giving us in something else. It’s the "can’t see the forest for the trees" syndrome. On top of that, when we get too wrapped up in our plan, we have to face the harsh reality of unmet expectations when it doesn't work out. Unfortunately, a planner has to swallow this frequently, and thankfully God has reined me back over past year or so.
Example: Here’s how the wrong way often looks, in say a job situation. You find this job that has potential of being fantastic, so naturally you get really excited. You fill out the application, rock the interview, and are super pumped about the 3rd callback with the office tour. You begin picturing yourself in this job, who your work friends will be, what you will wear the first week, etc. It seems promising, so you zealously tell your friends and family who become completely stoked too. Next, you go spend your first paycheck (which you haven’t actually earned) on snazzy business clothes. As you are walking on sunshine in flashy new heels, your future boss politely tells you they have hired someone else. WHAT? You. are. crushed. In reality, your non-boss did nothing wrong. The pain was self-inflicted because you let this future-fantasy run away in your head, rather than adhering to Solomon's advice to "...guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23. You invested prematurely, and in this instance your plan didn’t jive with God’s plan. Still, you are left with the stinging pain of disappointment from unmet expectations. I've mostly done this the hard way, and am FINALLY learning the right way. One (of many) vital lesson from James 4: God is actually trying to prevent us from hurting ourselves. The quicker we learn this, the less heartache we encounter.
Real world application in MY head, so take it with some salt. I honestly think it is very wise to have a general idea, an overall direction, some concrete goals, and a vision in life, in addition to seeking Christ. But when we legitimately, presumptuously overplan, and think "THIS is EXACTLY what I want," it is a self set-up for a catastrophe. Thankfully, even though we regularly wound ourselves, Jeremiah 29:11 is reassuring. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
Action: Nothing. See where God takes the day.
“Would I believe you when you would say,
Your hand will guide my every way?...
And I will walk by faith,
Even when I cannot see.
For because this broken road
Prepares your will for me.”
-Walk By Faith, Jeremy Camp
Lessons learned: In trying to develop the action for day 4, a very wise friend asked, “If YOU plan it, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of submitting to God?” So true. Therefore, I woke up without a plan, and spent the morning praying about James 4 then Luke 22:42 “Not my will but Thy will be done” and asking God to show me what that should look like for the day.
Okay, so probably not ideal for EVERY day, but for ONE day = spectacular. Basically, I spent the entire day in the Word, loving and serving other people, easily changing my non-existent-plans to fit someone else’s, and continually praying. I didn’t check off a single item on my extensive to-do list, try to figure out the fall in NC, research residency programs for next year, freak-out about my 25th birthday 10 months away, or even plan the weekend. Although atypical for me, it really happened. And it was phenomenal. God used this to show me how much of the present I waste living in the future, when often He has something better in store. “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” –Proverbs 19:21
In regard to not boasting about tomorrow (James 4:13-17), the concept of TODAY can be difficult. I am a planner, especially a future planner. Confident in MY abilities (really?), I like to orchestrate the way I want things to turn out. James says otherwise. “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” –James 4:14.
The clarity of this section made me curious as to why it is so. I love to plan the future, what’s wrong with that? Our entire lives we’ve been told to prepare for later. Elementary gymnastics makes a better cheerleader, high school choices dictate college opportunities, on-and-on. So, why this lesson, James? Perhaps God is simply trying to protect us by keeping us from overplanning. How? I think sometimes we can be so focused on “our plan” that we completely miss the phenomenal opportunities that God is giving us in something else. It’s the "can’t see the forest for the trees" syndrome. On top of that, when we get too wrapped up in our plan, we have to face the harsh reality of unmet expectations when it doesn't work out. Unfortunately, a planner has to swallow this frequently, and thankfully God has reined me back over past year or so.
Example: Here’s how the wrong way often looks, in say a job situation. You find this job that has potential of being fantastic, so naturally you get really excited. You fill out the application, rock the interview, and are super pumped about the 3rd callback with the office tour. You begin picturing yourself in this job, who your work friends will be, what you will wear the first week, etc. It seems promising, so you zealously tell your friends and family who become completely stoked too. Next, you go spend your first paycheck (which you haven’t actually earned) on snazzy business clothes. As you are walking on sunshine in flashy new heels, your future boss politely tells you they have hired someone else. WHAT? You. are. crushed. In reality, your non-boss did nothing wrong. The pain was self-inflicted because you let this future-fantasy run away in your head, rather than adhering to Solomon's advice to "...guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23. You invested prematurely, and in this instance your plan didn’t jive with God’s plan. Still, you are left with the stinging pain of disappointment from unmet expectations. I've mostly done this the hard way, and am FINALLY learning the right way. One (of many) vital lesson from James 4: God is actually trying to prevent us from hurting ourselves. The quicker we learn this, the less heartache we encounter.
Real world application in MY head, so take it with some salt. I honestly think it is very wise to have a general idea, an overall direction, some concrete goals, and a vision in life, in addition to seeking Christ. But when we legitimately, presumptuously overplan, and think "THIS is EXACTLY what I want," it is a self set-up for a catastrophe. Thankfully, even though we regularly wound ourselves, Jeremiah 29:11 is reassuring. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
The James Experiement: Day 3- James 3
Major Theme: Tame the tongue; do not be double-minded
Action: Only speak when spoken to, and have completely positive responses.
Lessons Learned: When I told my best friend about this experiment, she laughed hysterically at me. Then, kind of switched her tone and said, “You are giving up eating AND speaking?”. Implying, “Should we be concerned about you?”. It. Was. Awesome.
Alright, serious-face now. In our world, words are cheap and flow so freely without hesitation. We say things we don’t actually mean, set expectations that we don’t uphold, and “praise and curse out of the same mouth.” James 3:10. Funny example: A friend was telling us how she caught herself jamming out to worship music in her car, then semi-yelling at some guy in traffic, then immediately switching back to worshiping. How true is that for us all? (sidenote: the only people who actually see your ichthys and college bumper stickers are the ones you cut off in traffic. Not the best marketing technique.)
A few relevant Proverbs:
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” –Proverbs 17:28
“A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much” –Proverbs 20:19
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 25:24
This was an eye-opening experiment. A few things I already knew: I extremely value communication, am an avid encourager,and my main love language is words of affirmation. It also wasn't news that I'm verbally expressive, an auditory learner, and a collaborator. Embarrassingly, it was news how much I actually talk to myself. It became apparent that I recite to-do lists when trying to remember, verbally recap and plan out events, regularly read aloud, sing waaaaaaay more than expected, and actually speak to God. These things were discovered because I caught myself doing them. It happened ALL day, or at least the 25% of the day I was alone.
The remaining 75% of the day was divided into equal timeframes of strangers, acquaintances, and close friends. “Excuse me” and “thank you” were replaced with a nod and a smile. At school, someone would have to ask me for the information I really needed and wanted to tell them. In social situations, as a natural conversationalist, I felt ridiculous and kind of left out. It was, however, insightful to sit back and observe rather than always being in the mix. It was also good practice at being a Biblical woman in regard to responding and following. Tangent: If we expect men to be leaders, then we have to patiently give them the opportunity.
Also, sooooooooo many times things came to mind that typically I would just say without a second thought. Being forced keep them in my head, I sadly realized how often those statements didn’t really benefit, encourage, or educate anyone. And they weren’t glorifying Christ. Convicting moment...
God also used this day both to protect me and to teach me to rely on Him. There were a couple of conversations that flowed well because I was only allowed to respond. I unfortunately slipped up a time or two in those chats, but this day mostly prevented me from over speaking. Specifically, one conversation was a prime moment where less-is-best, and thanks to God it happened on my ‘not talking’ day. However, things were by no means picture-perfect, and this extrovert couldn’t talk about it to anyone! I could not call. Or text. Or email. Or facebook. Or gchat. Or contact first anyone in any form. It was killing me! And, it blatently pointed out that I immediately turn to someone other than the Lord. Skipping ahead to James 5:13 it is clear what we should do,"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." Due to a day without carelessly speaking, the situation resulted in me looking to God the way He designed- and He absolutely provided.
Action: Only speak when spoken to, and have completely positive responses.
Lessons Learned: When I told my best friend about this experiment, she laughed hysterically at me. Then, kind of switched her tone and said, “You are giving up eating AND speaking?”. Implying, “Should we be concerned about you?”. It. Was. Awesome.
Alright, serious-face now. In our world, words are cheap and flow so freely without hesitation. We say things we don’t actually mean, set expectations that we don’t uphold, and “praise and curse out of the same mouth.” James 3:10. Funny example: A friend was telling us how she caught herself jamming out to worship music in her car, then semi-yelling at some guy in traffic, then immediately switching back to worshiping. How true is that for us all? (sidenote: the only people who actually see your ichthys and college bumper stickers are the ones you cut off in traffic. Not the best marketing technique.)
A few relevant Proverbs:
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” –Proverbs 17:28
“A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much” –Proverbs 20:19
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 25:24
This was an eye-opening experiment. A few things I already knew: I extremely value communication, am an avid encourager,and my main love language is words of affirmation. It also wasn't news that I'm verbally expressive, an auditory learner, and a collaborator. Embarrassingly, it was news how much I actually talk to myself. It became apparent that I recite to-do lists when trying to remember, verbally recap and plan out events, regularly read aloud, sing waaaaaaay more than expected, and actually speak to God. These things were discovered because I caught myself doing them. It happened ALL day, or at least the 25% of the day I was alone.
The remaining 75% of the day was divided into equal timeframes of strangers, acquaintances, and close friends. “Excuse me” and “thank you” were replaced with a nod and a smile. At school, someone would have to ask me for the information I really needed and wanted to tell them. In social situations, as a natural conversationalist, I felt ridiculous and kind of left out. It was, however, insightful to sit back and observe rather than always being in the mix. It was also good practice at being a Biblical woman in regard to responding and following. Tangent: If we expect men to be leaders, then we have to patiently give them the opportunity.
Also, sooooooooo many times things came to mind that typically I would just say without a second thought. Being forced keep them in my head, I sadly realized how often those statements didn’t really benefit, encourage, or educate anyone. And they weren’t glorifying Christ. Convicting moment...
God also used this day both to protect me and to teach me to rely on Him. There were a couple of conversations that flowed well because I was only allowed to respond. I unfortunately slipped up a time or two in those chats, but this day mostly prevented me from over speaking. Specifically, one conversation was a prime moment where less-is-best, and thanks to God it happened on my ‘not talking’ day. However, things were by no means picture-perfect, and this extrovert couldn’t talk about it to anyone! I could not call. Or text. Or email. Or facebook. Or gchat. Or contact first anyone in any form. It was killing me! And, it blatently pointed out that I immediately turn to someone other than the Lord. Skipping ahead to James 5:13 it is clear what we should do,"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." Due to a day without carelessly speaking, the situation resulted in me looking to God the way He designed- and He absolutely provided.
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